


In Unstable Hands

by Ostricho



Category: Mother 1 | EarthBound Zero | EarthBound Beginnings, Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound, Mother 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 18:58:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18900670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ostricho/pseuds/Ostricho
Summary: Giygas and his minions have begun fleeing to the past, fearing their demise at the hands of Ness and his friends. It appears that destiny itself is prepared to swallow them up. Can something such as fate really be defied? Starman Deluxe does not want to believe the Apple of Enlightenment’s ominous predictions, but he doesn’t trust that Porky Minch and his mischievous plans, either. Is risking their leader’s mind for immense power worth the risk? Or is it merely a ploy to turn Giygas into Porky’s personal weapon?





	In Unstable Hands

His silver tentacles trembled, dragged downwards by the gravity of fate. A glint of light slid across his visor, and his gears churned even more quickly. Those were the only hints that betrayed his distress. His face was emotionless. The sharpest features on the alien were the several spikes that adorned either side of his neck. Now, impending destiny weighed down his shoulders, too. He laid the machine back on its pedestal, a golden apple. It had made a prediction. The ancient prophecies were only echoed through its words.

“The four will arrive here. Through time and space alike, they will somehow make their way to this place. And then…” His innards spun and churned, an automated stomach filled with butterflies that did anything but make him relax. “Master Giygas… will be…”

Starman Deluxe glanced towards the front of the cavern as biological matter pulsed beneath his feet. The organic tubes, like enormous veins, led to the heart of their infernal machine. Their own flesh and blood had been sacrificed for its creation. It was a construct of a million organs. It was the literal brains of their operation. The Devil’s Machine, the abomination that commanded their ranks, watched his underlings from a quivering eye. From its pupil, soulless tissue morphed into the visage of their commander. No words came from his mouth.

“Master Giygas.” Starman Deluxe turned his back towards the Apple and faced his leader instead. “The Apple has never once failed to predict the future. If this is what must happen, then we must finish our tasks before he arrives.”

The face of Giygas, a pale canvas painted only by red eyes, swirled about like a vortex. The flesh melted away into a sea of meaningless tissue. Starman Deluxe stepped back with heavy footsteps. From the Devil’s Machine, a new form was emerging. The face of Giygas was assuming a new appearance. Liquefied cells turned to an imitation of a cap. Two beady eyes opened up, black holes threatening to swallow all their efforts.

It was the face of the chosen.

“Ness,” Starman Deluxe said, “will destroy everything we have worked for.”

The Devil's Machine, incapable of speech, said nothing. The solemn silence was shared by all gathered in the pulsating chambers. Starman Deluxe turned towards his allies, only to see they were dropping to their knees, a show of final respects. Bionic Krakens howled out in distress, tears leaking from where their eyes should have been. A Nuclear Power Robot, its eyes flying in every direction, tumbled to the ground with a plume of fire. Shamblers flailed their tentacles and covered their faces.

"Do not panic!" Starman Deluxe's booming voice echoed through the cavern. "There is still time! And even if Master Giygas falls, our war will continue! The technology stolen from us by their kind will be reclaimed. Their entire race will be destroyed! We must have courage. We have to be brave, or else, we will all lose!"

"Get real, Metal Moron." The insult was spoken with a somewhat nasal voice, and without looking, Starman Deluxe knew the interrupter was sneering. From behind the Devil's Machine, he revealed himself, the legs of his mech scraping against the floor. With every stride of his device, faint cuts were left in the meat beneath him. A single eye on the front of the machine surveyed his surroundings. A glass cockpit shielded his already paling face. His crooked teeth revealed, Porky held his chin up with a palm. Starman Deluxe felt his processors begin to overheat.

"So you've come to contribute to the conversation." Starman Deluxe vented a burst of steam.

"I'm really just sick of hearing you prattle on about being tough and all of that." Porky blew a raspberry, strands of his greasy blond hair waving around in front of his mouth. _"Oh, I'm Starman Deluxe, and we're really, really strong!_ And here we are, hiding millions of years in the past, and even that's not gonna stop Ness."

The harrowing words spoken from the Apple could hardly compete with Porky's grating tone. Robots and aliens, snapped out of their panicked fits, found themselves staring towards the chubby child instead. Starman Deluxe folded his arms at his side, an invisible scowl carved across his face. Being insulted by the petulant brat was more than he could handle. A flash of deconstructed atoms, and Starman Deluxe vanished from sight. He appeared behind Porky instead, his pose as stiff as steel.

Porky released a stinky gas — and it definitely wasn't coming from his mech.

"Wow, I wonder where Starman Deluxe went. Maybe he's gone to his appointment at Stonehenge in 199X. Don't you have some abductees to guard, shiny cheeks?" Porky struggled to turn himself around in his cockpit, rolls of fat dripping onto his control panels. When he finally found himself glaring into Starman Deluxe's visor, he scoffed. "What, did your feelings get hurt?"

"I thought Master Giygas wanted to _retrieve_ our technology from the humans." Starman Deluxe tapped the glass window between himself and Porky with a single tendril. Shamblers, UFOs, and Octobots sneered, their contempt for the boy betrayed by their grinding teeth and gears. The Devil's Machine churned. The entire room shook. 

"But Master Giygas likes me and my winning strategy," Porky said.

"And _what_ would that be?"

"Look — there's no need to play dumb. You can do that just fine without playing pretend!" Porky slapped his belly, leaving a mustard stain on the front of his pinstripe tuxedo. "We've _all_ heard the stories. Think your little invasion is ever going to get done without good old-fashioned strength? I know you goons have been scoping out Earth for thousands of years. Dudes with spears and camels beat you. And don't make me remind you about those kids and their bedtime lullaby!"

The room fell into a sudden silence at Porky's words. The Devil's Machine began to rumble even more violently, its polymorphous face melting back into nothingness and vanishing from sight. Porky snickered, turning his nose up into the air. Interrupting his cocky posturing was a pair of silver tentacles slapping against his mech's glass window. Starman Deluxe leaned closer, psychic power glowing at the tips of his tendrils. Porky only gave a frustrated sigh.

"You dare not insult Master Giygas. You are fortunate he has not obliterated you," Starman Deluxe said.

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! That's enough of your stupidness!" Porky pushed a pudgy finger against the cockpit's window, his other hand wrapped firmly around a control stick. The mech's legs shuffled about, a dance of aggression. "Master Giygas won't obliterate me. Wanna know why? 'Cause he trusts me to guide him to victory. I'm gonna be the one that helps me defy fate."

"And what's your _brilliant_ plan, may I ask?" Starman Deluxe dropped his tentacles to his sides in flustered defeat.

"Gathering power. Oh, yes. He's gonna have to gather even _more_ power than he's already got!" Porky cackled with delight, his teeth covered with layers of plaque, evidence of a hundred fast food meals. "How're we gonna let some prophecy about space and time boss us around? We shouldn't back down for anything! Master Giygas... he'll be so powerful, space and time will be beneath him. And then, we won't have to care about what some stupid apple thinks, yeah?"

The Devil's Machine churned once more, the rumbles of Giygas's distress. The eye of the device drew in air, the resulting sounds like labored breaths, as Porky watched with giddy eyes. He interlocked his fingers and swooned. Starman Deluxe turned around to see if anyone shared his disgust. His other robotic comrades all displayed the same ferocity towards Porky as he did. It was almost as if Master Giygas was the only one who liked him. Even that was uncertain.

"He's gathering more power," Porky said. "Master Giygas may never get to leave that nasty machine again, but at least he'll be strong enough to kick destiny in the butt. We don't care about what that stupid Apple of Enlightenment says anymore. If Ness and his friends show up here, they'll be mincemeat. Oh, yeah!"

He jerked his control sticks forward, and the mech bum-rushed through the crowd. Mooks and Whirling Robos toppled like dominos as Porky carelessly flung them aside. The anger of the alien hordes was growing even greater. Giygas was not influencing their emotions with his awesome power. But Porky's voice was enough to accomplish the same task.

"Later, potaters!" Porky vanished through the entrance of Giygas's chambers, cackling with delight. The murmurs of the alien armies became even louder as they expressed their discontent for Porky Minch. Hisses, roars, and the literal grinding of gears filled the room with sound and strife. Giygas refused to comment. He merely subsisted on his hatred for Ness, his power evergrowing.

"...Of course." Starman Deluxe turned to the Devil's Machine, his body faintly trembling. He stooped to his knee and showed his respects to Giygas. The alien overlord did nothing in response. Not even a visage of his previously immovable body emerged from the eye of the device. There was only a faint din filling the cave, the high-pitched squeal of Giygas's power gathering, his hatred gathering like flies to a corpse. His army awaited orders. None came. They were staring upon a guardian who had since become senile. A man who once had ambition and memories was nothing more than a tool.

 _Porky’s_ tool.

Starman Deluxe felt his quivering grow even more violent.

"Then I suppose I'd better go to Stonehenge," the silver alien said. "Yet before I go, it may be best that we ensure the security of our hideaway. My allies, let us check every side of this cave forgotten by the past itself. Porky believes that destiny is best defied by numbing power. Let us show that cautious planning can prevent it instead. Let us show that we are not to be underestimated."

The hordes of aliens and robots grumbled in agreement, rallying behind Starman Deluxe. Their backs turned to their almost mindless leader, they slithered and stomped and slid towards the chamber's exit, towards where Porky had stomped away. Their thoughts all lingered in one place. Even without the use of telepathy, everyone understood Starman Deluxe's true intention.

There was no security to be upheld within the shelter of yesteryear. Ness and his friends would make their way there — the Apple had foretold it. But there was a more pressing issue. A human had already infiltrated. And Master Giygas was already in danger.

Their trot into the Cave of the Past turned into a charge. Their ranks filed out into the spacious world waiting outside of Giygas's chambers, a place where the air was mist and the ground was nothing more than lifeless rock. Starman Deluxe led the rampage along the crags and the cliffsides. Mooks slithered like snakes. UFOs whizzed about erratically. Even the Bionic Krakens could not contain themselves, swimming through the air, belching flames into the sky. They needed to find the greatest threat to their master. They needed to find Porky Minch and put him in his place.

He was a human usurper, and he needed to be stopped.

"There. There he is." Starman Deluxe raised a silver tendril towards the end of the stony path. The glass cockpit of the mech was popped open, allowing the fog of the grey-hued cave to waft inside the device. But Porky no longer occupied its seat. He sat on the ground instead, leaning against the side of the machine, a string held in his fingers. He jerked his wrist. The red yo-yo tumbled down, reached the end of its rope, and did not return to its peak.

"How does he...?" Porky suddenly looked up at the armada of alien invaders, their eyes all trained upon him. With a sigh, Porky brought himself up to his feet, dusting off the butt of his pants. "Hey, what's the big idea? You're all looking at me like you're mad about something. There's nothing to get upset over! Simmer down, you teakettles!"

"We will _not_ simmer down." Starman Deluxe lumbered closer, his tentacles held at his side. A moment later, intense flashes of light emerged at the ends of his tendrils, the colors of cosmic energy. High in the sky, brilliant specks that had not previously been visible began to twinkle. A rain of stars was upon them — retribution from the heavens. "You are the one who needs to be put in check. We are here for one purpose — to retrieve the technology stolen from us by humanity — and you are only..."

"Oh my pork! Are you serious!? _The technology! The technology! Waaaaahhhh!"_ Porky's false weeping was like that of a dying pig, sending Starman Deluxe's tentacles right over his ears. The rest of the alien troops writhed and howled, wanting to descend upon the human like a pack of starving wolves. "Do you think Giygas still cares about stolen technology? Do you think he gives an Exit Mouse's rear end about his little tiff with his _adoptive daddy?_ No!"

Porky chucked the yo-yo back into the cockpit of the mech. He snorted, his bloodshot eyes raw. Starman Deluxe knew the red lightning within his gaze could only mean one of two things. It was possible that Porky never washed his hands after using the bathroom and had wound up with pinkeye. Or it was equally likely that Porky had finally gone a little crazy.

Or maybe both of those things were true.

"I'm so bored with this," Porky said. "All your potential, wasted on some people, wasted on this stolen technology you won't shut up about. Master Giygas is capable of much more than avenging some shoplifted merchandise. Once he's done gathering power, this won't be about your little grudge match anymore. This will be about the whole universe, baby."

Starman Deluxe gave a mechanical snarl, his storm of stars almost ready to fly.

"Master Giygas," Porky whispered, "will send all to the horror of eternal darkness. Doesn't that sound exciting...!?"

"Master Giygas will do no such thing. He will be your plaything no longer." Starman Deluxe swung his tentacle downwards, and the glimmering stars above him pulsed with light, their descent prepared. "It seems you have forgotten your place, Porky Minch. Your potential is zero. Your legacy is naught. The Earth quivers at the hands of Master Giygas — not you. The blessing of our strength will no longer be yours to bear!"

Starman Deluxe's allies backed away, their eyes locked upon the oncoming storm of stars. Porky craned his neck towards the meteor shower, stroking his many chins, and gave an amused grin. Starman Deluxe panicked — how could the child be so cocky in the face of his deadliest attack? Survival would be impossible. Porky would be eradicated from their sight.

The meteorites came closer, streaks of blue that threatened to burn out the retinas of anyone who dared to gawk. The first of those celestial bodies made impact with the ground. Porky disappeared in a cloud of dust and light, his mech also lost to the carnage. Starman Deluxe backed away as the army cheered. Their battle cries echoed throughout the Cave of the Past, jeers that would be echoed for centuries to come. The rain of PK Starstorm continued. Porky's obnoxious smile, his stumpy and obese body — everything about him was gone. 

Starman Deluxe's visor glinted with a glimmer of hope. 

"The pig is dead!" His words were barely audible over the sound of exploding stars. "Master Giygas suffers at his hands no longer!"

The last of Starman Deluxe's holy attack crashed into the lifeless grey ground. The endless rows of alien forces watched onward, their delighted shrieking at its loudest. Not a single person there wanted Porky to remain. His acts and words against Master Giygas were too much. They wanted him dead. They wished him dead.

Starman Deluxe knew it. Porky Minch could not have possibly survived. To live through the horror of PK Starstorm was an impossibility.

 _"Hey, Metal Moron."_ Those three words emerged from the cloud of dust, and in an instant, Starman Deluxe felt his processors grind to a halt. The taps of mechanical legs could be heard, shuffling around in the distance. Their nemesis was out of sight yet not out of mind. The whooping and hollering of the alien armies dropped into disgusted panic.

"Impossible." Starman Deluxe stepped away from the curtain of debris, a tentacle placed over his chest. "The human could not have survived PK Starstorm. It... It couldn't have... couldn't have bested me in that sort of way..."

"You're so predictable. I can read you like the fast food menu! Yeah, that's right! Spankety, spankety, spankety!" As the dust settled on the ground beneath, Porky stormed into view, his smirking face shielded by the mech's glass window. With a slap of his hand, his mechanism belched missiles and bombs, raining onto Giygas's forces. Mooks, Octobots, and UFOs vanished within plumes of fiery retribution. "And here I come! Right out of the dust like one of those TV shows. Get over it, shiny pants. I'm in charge here!"

A series of uneasy grunts echoed through the cavern. Bursting through the crowd of Giygas's soldier came two Shamblers, their tentacles flailing at their sides. With a flash of light, laser beams burst from their bulbous eyes, soaring straight towards the cockpit of Porky's mechanism. They bounced off his window almost harmlessly. With a sneer and a laugh, Porky smacked a button, and his mech doled out a laser of its own. It was like a mighty tube of light, preparing to pierce through the crowd like a needle of light. Starman Deluxe stepped aside in the nick of time. Some of his allies were not as lucky. The Shamblers evaporated into ash within a single moment. Others still behind them vanished within the hellish light. Flames burst across the cave's grey stone. The shouts of the alien army grew louder, more discontent. 

"Honestly, it's like you want to get turned into a crisp! Maybe that'd be a good experience for you. Turned into pathetic little chicken nuggets! I'll dip you in ketchup, losers! Wahaha!" Porky flung his hand against the button again, and from the eye of his mech, another laser was thrust into existence. But Starman Deluxe leapt out in front and concentrated his energies. With psychic finesse, a shield constructed itself from the void, tackling the laser head-on. Two unfathomable powers struck against each other and both lost. With an explosion of sparkling phenomena, both beam and barrier evaporated, opposite forces equalling zero.

"Your strength," Starman Deluxe said. "You have no true strength. It only comes from that machine, and..."

"And Master Giygas gave me one of his most powerful devices instead of you?" Porky put a pair of fists up to his eyes and tilted them, wiping imaginary tears from his eyes. "It's kinda funny, isn't it? His greatest machine, given to a human like me. Though I've come to expect you aliens to waste all your potential. You have time travel, for Pete's sake. You could change the fabric of reality itself to any form you desired..."

"It is not so simple. Time resists. Time will protest and lock you out if you are not so careful!" Starman Deluxe's silver-plated face nearly turned red.

"I'd like to see it try," Porky snickered.

The carnage did not let up. Soaring in from the far reaches of the cavern was a squadron of UFOs, their weapons trained on Porky. Some wore flashy ribbons, and others were bright shades of pink, but no fashion accessories would stop the Pig King's assault. From the backside of his mech, a series of missiles revealed themselves. They blasted into the air moments later. Flying saucer after flying saucer erupted into plumes of orange fire.

"Wahaha! You're making this way too easy for me! I think I have more trouble getting out of bed in the morning, you metallic morons!" Porky cackled, spraying a film of saliva onto his mech's window. His laughter came to a sudden halt, and he slammed a fist against the control panel, his teeth bore. "But I'm getting _really bored_ of your shenanigans."

The legs of the mech creaked, finally through with their momentary rest. Starman Deluxe feared what came next and fired off a volley of beams. Each of the glowing rays evaporated against the side of Porky's mech, leaving only faint trails of smoke. The device's headstrong rush could not be stopped. Porky tore into the crowd of alien attackers, flinging them in any direction he saw fit. None were spared from his overweight onslaught. Their gurgles and squeals were like an anthem of destruction.

"Stop this at once! Porky...!" Starman Deluxe felt his spirits drop even lower as an unconscious pair of Mooks landed at his feet. "Master Porky! Master Porky, I say! We... We will listen to what you have to say...!"

"What's that, Metal Moron?" Porky flashed an insincere smile. "Surely you're not _surrendering,_ are you? What sort of loser just gives up that easily? I'm only getting started! Oh, yeah!"

The loudest roar of them all erupted through the cavern, the sirens that acted as a harbinger of death. The twisting monstrosity swam through the air, threads of crimson hair trailing behind it. The magenta serpent, the fearsome Bionic Kraken, would be the fateful ultimatum. Its mouth opened like a bear trap ready to slam shut. From the depths of its throat, winds gathered together, a tornado threatening to tear apart the ground they stood on.

"So you'll waste every last one of your attack toys to try to scratch me, huh?" Porky looked down on his mech, giving a sigh of relief. "You know, this device... it's really kinda wicked, I have to say. It's almost like Master Giygas expected all of you to rebel against me. It's almost like he wanted me to beat you down where you stand..."

The Bionic Kraken's immense whirlwind tripled in size, and like a spice thrown into the mix, lightning coursed within in. The electric bolts crashed and boomed and banged, psychic energy ready to smite Porky from the fabric of reality. The icing on the cake came next. From the monster's maw, fire emerged as breakneck speeds. Divine retribution was impending.

"Stupid things," Porky whispered to himself. "Struggle all you want. You're nothing compared to me."

The Bionic Kraken's psychokinetic storm came closer. The chaotic shrieks of the tornado were almost deafening.

"I'm the most clever, most charming, most trouble-making boy ever," Porky said.

Ever so near now. Porky faced chaos and oblivion, yet he laughed.

"...I'm Master Porky Minch."

He sprung into the strife without even blinking.

Starman Deluxe and his minions could only watch in awe as Porky sailed through the deathly tornado. Lightning crackled against the edges of his mech. Flames swirled against his glass window. Yet somehow, the little monster resisted the Bionic Kraken's strongest attack, only faint sparks spitting from his machine. As he drew closer to the serpent's maw, a glorious beam of light erupted from the mech's eye. The energy flowed into the creature's mouth. The Bionic Kraken howled, its mouth slamming shut, and the cyclones pouring from its stomach came to a sudden halt. Porky and his mech landed on the creature's head. Mechanical legs dug into the Bionic Kraken's flesh, flinging scales to the ground.

"Since I've got everyone's attention, listen up." Porky cranked his control sticks forward, and his mech pierced even deeper in the Bionic Kraken, its wails growing louder. "I'm not a big fan of you guys, as you might've figured out by now. So here's how this is going to work. Metal Moron is going to Stonehenge. And everyone else is going to leave me and Master Giygas alone. Run around out here, guard the place, I don't even care."

The Bionic Kraken's shrieking became quieter. Its tail twitching, the serpent approached the ground. Porky kept picking at it, the world's most overgrown tick.

"Master Giygas is going to be more powerful than anything else. And it's all because of me. I'm in charge here. You're in my hands. You're in my excellent and powerful hands now, you weakling stinklings! Spankety, spankety, spankety!"

The Bionic Kraken toppled to the ground, kicking up an enormous cloud of dust. Porky's strength had been proven at least ten times over. One by one, the alien troops dropped to their knees. Those who were incapable of kneeling only watched in horrified silence instead. Starman Deluxe felt a circuit burst into sparks near the top of his head. A human was in charge. Master Giygas was nothing more than a puppet now.

"Oh, look at everyone bowing down. They're ready to do my bidding!" Porky narrowed his gaze at Starman Deluxe, his eyes somehow piercing through the greasy blond locks hanging past his forehead. "And that means you as well, Mr. I'm So Special. Why don't you warp on out of here already? I'm sure things will be absolutely safe under _my_ watch."

Starman Deluxe staggered towards the mech, not daring to draw too close.

"You will pay for all of this," Starman Deluxe said.

"I'm not so sure about that," Porky said. "Why don't you ask your stupid Apple of Enlightenment for a second opinion? Why don't you scram already, you pig's butt? After all, you're taking orders from me now. So get out of here! Go! Go now!"

"But... But Porky..."

"I said _leave!"_ Porky snarled.

Starman Deluxe gave an exasperated mechanical sigh, his tendrils coiling like snakes. The temptation to try another surge of PK Starstorm came to him. To turn Porky into a smear on the ground would have been a beautiful thing, yet it was an impossible thing. The human was unstoppable. They had been bested by a member of the species they opposed.

With no other choices, Starman Deluxe vanished in a pillar of light. Giygas was nothing more than the crown jewel of a mad emperor now. The reign of the pig king had finally begun.

* * * * *

Metallic footsteps rang out across the corridor as four robots trudged along. Their bodies were lifeless grey blocks that somehow possessed life. Their journey through the hallways of flesh and blood was slowed by the fear racking their minds. They knew there was a prophecy they had to fulfill. They knew they had to save the entire universe from Giygas's wrath. The conflict's conclusion had already been decided. But being millions of years away from their families and friends did little to calm their nerves.

They did not speak. Only their feet moved until their travels came to a sudden stop. They had come face-to-face with the Devil's Machine, the repugnant creation that marked Giygas's resting place. The evil force detected the presence of the chosen children and trembled. The entire room quaked around them, yet the four kept their balance. Ness, Paula, Jeff, and Poo — they had experienced more hardships and strife than anyone else their age. To collapse now would doom their existence.

From the liquefied flesh, a face began sprouting on the eye of the Devil's Machine. It was a familiar visage, making the souls in all four of the robots quiver with a sudden coolth. Ness found himself challenged by a mirror image. Its eyes were black as night. Its mouth remained in a mortified frown.

A hissing noise emerged from above them. _Something_ was constructing itself, a sea of atoms suddenly springing into view. Metallic legs grew from nothingness. A flabby body built itself out of the void. It was not long before another familiar face introduced itself, a smug smile stretching between his cheeks. He snorted like a pig as his mech dropped to the ground. Giygas continued to stir as Ness and Porky exchanged wide-eyed glances.

His next-door neighbor, now the most powerful person in existence.

"Ness! Are you surprised? It's me, Porky."


End file.
